Canoeing Mishaps, Car Lunch, and Patrick Danz: My Day in Lanesboro

Yesterday morning, around 10:30 am, Alvin and I embarked on a journey to Lanesboro, MN, a charming little town with a population of 734. According to Chad (my Jesus doppleganger coworker), its population nearly doubles during the summer because of all the tourists that come by (it's a popular spot for tubing, canoeing, kayaking, and biking, in addition to being the Bed and Breakfast Capital of Minnesota). It's always fun and relaxing to be in Lanesboro, which is why it's no surprise that it was named one of the best 20 small towns to live in 2014 by Smithsonian Magazine. 

Anyway, the big mission of the day: survive a canoeing adventure. Alvin only went canoeing once before, a long time ago, and I had never gone before. We went to the Little River General Store to check in, met a nice but super buff guy named Caleb at a spot by the river, followed him in our car to an area downstream, left our car there and went in his to go through a trail and to a spot upstream, and then got in our canoe. As I carefully stepped down into the canoe, a giant cloud of gnats engulfed me, and I thought that this might have been a bad idea. 

And it kind of was. We sucked at canoeing. But Alvin was worse than me at it (no offense to him). He wasn't the best paddler (rower?) and tended to over-paddle, which would then lead us to spin around and often run into things. Of course, my inexperience is also to be blamed, but I was the one leading us throughout the whole thing. I admit we got better during the second half of the journey, but it was still a constant struggle. We also brought Arthur, the puppy. He seemed pretty bored and annoyed due to the heat and occasional bumping of the canoe into rocks. By the time we finished, I was extremely relieved. Two hours of canoeing down a river for the first time was a lot more intense than I had imagined. 

I can't trust Alvin to man the boat while I'm taking pictures, because usually he ends up making us go in the wrong direction and/or run into something. Here's an example of something we crashed into.

This is Arthur. He's a miniature poodle puppy. Super cute and fluffy.

Alvin Faisal, Prince of Jakarta, searches the river for any sign of his jeweled crown.

By the time we got to the car, we were extremely sweaty, exhausted, and bug bite-ridden. More importantly, we were hungry. Alvin was kind enough to bring us sandwich supplies and I brought bacon cheeseburger slider flavored potato chips. Because we wanted to stay in an air conditioned area with no bugs and no other place would let us sit around and eat our own food, we decided to eat in the car. We parked in front of a theater, made sandwiches, and indulged in the car's air conditioning. It was an amazing sandwich by the way— Laughing Cow cheese, lettuce, sliced bell peppers, pepper jack cheese, and roast beef on a French baguette. 

After lunch was done, we stopped by the Slant Avenue Mercantile. It's the coolest shop in Lanesboro, no questions asked. The shop carries all sorts of useful things, including potato chip chocolates, cat butt soap, stationary, classic toys, coffee, tea, and cigar box guitars (called Bro-Jo's). It has a warm and welcoming atmosphere, and even better, dogs are allowed. 

This is Patrick. He's not actually as wide as he looks in the picture— he was just standing on a stool and his stretched out shirt and the camera angle made him look wider.

I met Patrick (the head honcho of the Mercantile) during a tenth grade English field trip to the Commonweal Theatre, and have been cool with him since. He is one of the forrealist chillest guys I have ever met. He's got a friendly aura and nice smile, and he's one of those people you just wish made self help tapes because his voice is so relaxing to listen to. He's also one of those people you wish would write an autobiography because he's so cool. From what I gather, he was an actor, lived in Oregon, and knows cool people. I am forever grateful for him, as he introduced me to my idol Lucy Michelle (formerly of the Velvet Lapelles but they changed their name to Field Trip) at a Lanesboro BBQ joint last year.

Patrick and I talked for a while. I told him about the Midwest Argonaut, and he was cool enough to hand me 7 bucks and order a copy (everybody should consider following his example). He told me he was trying to organize a local music and art festival here in Lanesboro sometime in October, and of course I told him to keep me updated and that I would definitely come. I ended up buying some Nag Champa beauty soap and Stay Away From Assholes white tea violet luxury soap from him, as well as a bottle of Wait— was that slutty? hand sanitizer that I got for Dalena. 

After feeling satisfied about my visit to the Mercantile, we left and went out for ice cream. Alvin got a vanilla, pecan, and caramel mix and I got strawberry. It was pretty good, until a random hoard of mosquitoes came out of nowhere and attacked us. We quickly finished our cones and headed to the car.

Overall, I was satisfied with my day in Lanesboro. It could've gone a lot smoother, and I wouldn't have minded not getting bug bites, but I suppose there's no such thing as an adventure without mishap. I conclude this post by suggesting that people visit Lanesboro when they get the chance. It's a real hoot.

To check out the Slant Avenue Mercantile online, click here.

To check out the Little River General Store (where we rented our canoe), click here.

Cabin Trip

On Monday, some friends and I went up to Maddy's grandma's "cabin" (it's more like a lake house) for the week. We lived on our own there for five days. Most of our time was spent lazing around, hanging out in the lake, and exploring Detroit Lakes. I especially enjoyed cooking, binge watching Orange is the New Black, and kayaking. I made sure to take plenty of pictures along the way:

Sharon took this one

The Muddy Moose

We stumbled upon The Muddy Moose at a roadstop on our way to Detroit Lakes, MN. We weren’t expecting much more than an average sandwich joint, but I was delightfully surprised when I took the first bite of my beautiful turkey sandwich. I was so impressed that at the end of the day I was still craving some more. I would foshizz recommend this place to anybody.

Rock the Garden 2014

I went to Rock the Garden for the first time ever yesterday. I was definitely not disappointed— the day was filled with fun and misadventure. We only had the time and money to go on the first day, but it was perfectly alright because it was a great show nonetheless.

We left home at around 10 am, got to Maddy's grandma's house and dropped our stuff off there. Then we proceeded to the Mall of America, left our car there, and hopped on a bus. It was an unbelievable struggle finding the Sears parking lot to leave our car at because of all the construction, and it was our first time navigating the public transportation system of the Cities. The bus dropped us off at 77th St. and Lyndale Ave. and we soon realized that we missed our next bus. We got some Chipotle to ease the waiting anxiety. Unfortunately, we missed our bus again when we realized we were on the wrong side of the street. Maddy made eye contact with the driver and he apathetically waved as he drove off without us. 

After a half hour wait, we finally got on the right bus. We were a bit worn out and slightly bitter about our situation, but we progressively got more excited as more and more festival-goers hopped aboard. 

When we got off the bus, we followed the experienced and local festival-goers and got to the entrance. Maddy and I had the pleasure of standing in front of a group of two friendly bro-like guys giving out high fives. We ended up giving out high fives with them, but only for a brief period of time. The doors eventually opened and with surprising speed, entered the festival grounds. And on a side note, we registered to vote.

There was an awesome, energetic vibe as we scoped out the place. It was a great deal of fun and relaxation. The lineup was as follows: Lizzo, Jeremy Messersmith, Best Coast, Matt & Kim, and De La Soul. Lizzo had on a gorgeous outfit and had great stage presence. Jeremy Messersmith did a beautiful cover of Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball. Best Coast was super cool and Californian-like as I expected. Matt & Kim surprised the bejeezus out of me with their awesome performance (Matt referred to "The great American poet Robert Kelly, otherwise known as R. Kelly" and Kim twerked on the hands of the crowd). De La Soul was hilarious and chill, and it felt great watching a legendary group. I thoroughly enjoyed every single performance and was sad when it was over. 

The beautiful Bethany Cosentino, front woman of Best Coast, rocking it out on the mega screen.

Getting home was weird. To sum it all up, Maddy and I were offered 7 bucks to "rock 'n' roll" with a creepy guy outside of a bar and we took a wrong turn on the highway and ended up behind a dark warehouse. Needless to say, we were greatly relieved when we got back to Maddy's grandma's house. 

Once we got back, we stuffed our faces with magical swiss cheese, crackers, and ice cream. We went through my music library and sang Adele until 3:30 in the morning. It was fun.

The next morning we woke up sort of late. We were hungry so we decided to navigate ourselves to a good looking restaurant in St. Paul. We ended up going to Shish Café, right on the Macalester campus. Maddy had Belgian waffles and I had crabcakes eggs Benedict. 4.5 stars for this great joint. It was really good and I was nearly in a food coma by the time I finished.

Maddy's Belgian Waffles

My order of delicious crabcakes eggs benedict

Overall, my Rock the Garden experience was bombtastic. I learned many things that night and had lots of fun, even though the struggle was so real. 

The First Day of Summer - Valleyfair Amusement Park

Alvin and Prescott go on the RipCord, a combination of hang gliding and skydiving, for the first time.

THE RIDE

On a bright Wednesday morning, the gang assembled at my house, one by one. A buzz of excitement filled the air as we reflected in unison the fact that we had finished high school. Today was our first day of summer, and we were going to spend it at an amusement park. At around 9am we split up into two groups and departed for Valleyfair. Group 1 was chauffeured by yours truly, while Group 2 was taken hostage by the one and only Prescott Atkinson, our local Alabamian. Despite the construction and unpredictable merging of lanes, as well as jams caused by slow vehicles, things were going as planned. All seemed well as we drove along Highway 52, until our group got broken up-- we had taken different GPS routes. Alvin Faisal, my copilot, managed to pick out the strangest route ever, which included super sharp turns and a one lane bridge (those exist?). But rest assured, Group 1 managed to keep its cool by jamming to a mixed CD that I created, titled GET HYPE!!! Everything worked out in the end-- even though we took the longer and weirder (scenic, according to Alvin) route, we still got there before Group 2. Apparently Prescott took the wrong turn and almost killed them a few times. Although they are still in denial, our victory is evidenced by the fact that they were behind us in line at the parking lot gates.

THE VISIT

Once we walked through the entrance gates, there was the customary question of “Where do we go first?” It was unanimously decided that we start at the Steel Venom, everybody’s favorite single twist impulse coaster with a U-shaped steel tubular track. There was an aura of nervousness as we hopped on board the very first ride of the day. The first ride is always more queasy-looking than usual. After the ride was finished, though, the ice had broken and we were ready for more thrill-seeking adventures. 

Alvin and Prescott were so thrilled that they signed up to go on the RipCord, which is basically a combination of skydiving and hang-gliding. Riders experience an 18-story free-fall with the rip of a cord. As the two were being pulled up by the machine, we distinctly heard Alvin shout “I REGRET MY DECISION!” They screamed with the utmost passion at the first drop. After that, they were fine and made Superman poses as they swung back and forth. Everyone applauded them once they got back to land.

The rest of the day consisted of a steady flow of thrill and relaxation. The lines were surprisingly short and we didn’t have too many problems with sticking together. After going on the Renegade the first time, we took a lunch break. Most of us went to Coasters Diner. We watched episodes of The Rascals while eating overpriced burgers, as delicious as they were. Ally Kann bought a 6-something-dollar milkshake. What would Vincent Vega have said about that? Maddy wins an honorable mention here, as she calmly accepted the fact that her order got misplaced. Shout out to our waitress, who somehow looked like a mix of Frankie (Maddy’s foreign exchange student) and Laura Cook (this girl we know), and was also very helpful. 

The gang (minus Alvin) takes a picture with Snoopy. From left to right: Dalena, me, Simbo, Ally, Maddy, Wil, Prescott, Lisa, and Sharon

After lunch we circled around the park and went on all the thrill rides. Another anecdote worth mentioning is our experience on Thunder Canyon, one of those rides where up to 6 people sit in a tubular raft and go through a river of sorts and sometimes you get soaked and sometimes you don’t. I had the pleasure of riding with Sharon Chen, who was a varsity swimmer on the Mayo High School Girls Swim team. With that in mind, she was screaming hysterically most of the time, trying to not get wet. We have footage of her screaming, and it is solid gold. Somehow, Simbo Pra and I managed to get soaked. My entire back and right side was drenched, as well as my shoes, socks, and rear end. After we got off, Simbo and I spent quite a bit of time wringing our socks and clothing. By the end of it all, my hands smelled like my feet. Ally stayed completely dry the whole entire time. Later on in the day we went again, hoping that Sharon and Ally would get wet, but they never did.

THE RIDE BACK

At around 6:30pm, we stopped for some Caribou and then left the park. I put in my SUMMERY THINGS mixed CD and we proceeded with a relaxing ride back home. Most of the time I was just hoping that Prescott would get a speeding ticket. We got back home a little before 8pm. Once we were finished with our trip, we congratulated each other on a day well spent. I had the feeling that this summer was going to be great-- alas, the turning up has just started.