I’m not saying every jerk I bump into that happens to be white is racist—not at all. I’m just saying it gets frustrating being pressured to not point out racism when it actually does happen, as well as not being able to say for sure who’s being racist because some people really don’t know better or they're just terrible people in general. Anyway, I present this anecdote:
The Pacsun that used to reside in my local shopping mall sucked ass. However, I liked their clothes, so I kept coming back. I’ve never had good customer service there before, at least nothing worth commending. On average, it was shitty. Absolute garbage. I always assumed it was just because the employees that rang me up were self-absorbed hipsters too busy trying to figure out their lives or whatever bullshit you have it. But my last few times at Pacsun were so awful that it got me wondering if there was more to the shitty customer service than I thought.
Quick summary of my treatment at Pacsun: the employees ignored me, acted stuck up, and sometimes directed sarcastic comments at me. Oh, and the same employee that made the sarcastic comment was rushing me while I was getting money out of my wallet WHEN THERE WAS NO LINE. And once, an employee totally ignored me and waited for me to hand her my card when I had actually been holding it out to her for a solid ten seconds. They usually stand behind the counter talking to each other and make me wait for a minute or two before stepping forward a whole six inches to ring me up. And while ringing me up, the cashier often continued talking to other coworkers behind the counter. And it’s not even a select few employees. I always got someone different whenever I went there, and the same thing usually happened.
After my last transaction at Pacsun, I sent Maddy an angry text message confessing my underlying hatred for our local Pacsun. She was confused.
“Whaaaat? Whenever I go in there with Kyra we end up having super long conversations with the employees and they’re really helpful.”
My mind was blown. I thought they were shitty to everyone, but obviously not if Maddy and Kyra loved them. There was no remote consideration of underlying racism up until this point. I thought to myself: do we really wanna accuse them of racism? That’s kinda hard to prove. You can’t just go around calling people racists. That’s a heavy accusation to make. But then I remembered the other (white) people getting better customer service in the store. And if I’m not getting the same treatment as Maddy and Kyra, something must be up. Keep in mind that I went to that Pacsun fairly often, so my dozens of shitty experiences were not likely to be coincidental.
Later on I asked Ally if she’s ever had shitty customer service at Pacsun.
“Well they usually don’t say anything to me. But it’s probably because I never buy anything. But you actually bought something and they still ignored you at the cash register, so that’s kinda weird.”
I’ve only had one positive customer service experience at Pacsun (that I can think of), and that was when I was with Ally (a white person). Maybe I should just remember to bring a white person with me if I want guaranteed quality customer service.
At the end of it all, the only thing I could really say for sure was that some form of discrimination was going on, whether the employees realized it or not. Maybe they really are racist, maybe they just subconsciously act snobby and lazy around average looking people. Or maybe I’m just a really unlucky person that always gets the shitty employees every single time I go to Pacsun and it really was just a terrible coincidence that I got a snob to ring me up every single goddamn time I was there. I don’t really know. Either way, it’s inexcusable. Get your shit together, Pacsun.
But let’s jump to the worst-case scenario: what if they really were racist? They would’ve gotten away with it. Why? Because the discrimination was subtle enough to not raise any eyebrows over, and overall it just wasn’t worth the hassle of contacting a manager or someone else higher up. After all, I just wanted to buy my clothes and go—I could really care less about negligent employees not asking me if I found everything okay. But that’s my exact point: people always get away with these things because we (non-white people) are pressured into brushing off these subtle moments of discrimination, and also partially because we want to believe that we’re not being discriminated against. And these racist assholes know it too.
If there’s any moral to my story of lukewarm discrimination, it’s that we shouldn’t have to put up with it anymore. Sure, it’s a mild form of discrimination, but it all adds up and essentially screws everyone over. If someone’s being racist or discriminative in any way, I shouldn’t have to feel pressured to ignore it. I should be able to call that person out and not be told I’m overreacting.
I’d also like to encourage self-awareness. It’s very possible that you may think you’re awesomely respectful and treat everyone equally well, but in reality you’re a subconsciously racist asshole and you don’t even know it. We’ll all have moments where we slip up and truly mean no harm, but it doesn’t hurt to check ourselves and be aware of our personal biases. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Marginalizing peeps ain’t really a light offense, so how about we just not?
